Bee Happy: Perfectionism Is a Scam But Ghibli Stills Are Not

I've been thinking too hard about this whole blogging thing.

The irony is that I'm working very hard at not being a perfectionist. As it turns out, being perfect at not being perfect defeats the purpose and the results are the same anyway; made out of frustration, anxiety, and probably an unhealthy amount of caffeine.

*takes sip of coffee I made with three shots of espresso*

*no seriously this is me cutting down on caffeine*

*8 shots down to 5 a day,,,,,,,,,*

I nearly sprinted over here to write this after coming across a blog that had anywhere between 600-1001 posts a year, with high school-level graphic design text layouts, and some of the most profound writing I've read about film. I arrived at this blog because I was hunting for some decent stills of Ghibli films, specifically My Neighbor Totoro landscapes (iykyk), for drawing and color study. My son has been loving the Ghibli films, so lately I've been taking deep dives into film essays, art studies, and Japanese film making. Some of the best, and worst, takes I've seen on Ghibli films were from blog posts; normal people with the shared love of whimsy and childlike wonder. And this blog post was no different, except it struck me in a new way that I didn't expect, and honestly has very little to do with Ghibli.

Upon first glance, it would seem that the author's strong suit is not in graphic design. If I stopped at this truly innocuous imperfection, I would have absolutely missed out on his thoughtful dissection of a household favorite Ghibli film. The funny thing (or perhaps profound or utterly normal thing) is, I didn't even notice the design faux pas until I started really looking over the author's blog as a whole. That's when I came over here to write — why am I stressing over the tiling of my background to the point of anxiety? Making sure my colors blended right in my header? Is this the right shade of blue? I spent too much time copy/pasting hex codes so my header didn't look out of place with the rest of my blog layout.

Granted, I'm an artist, legibility is important, and perfectionism is a beast. I've written about it frequently and I probably will never stop writing about it because of its chronic nature. I find great joy in designing an appealing, and readable, blog, however the problem lies in becoming afraid to write or post anything because perfectionism is holding me back. I can't fail if I don't try in the first place. But that begs the question; what is the standard anyway? (Spoiler: there is none.)

If someone can have high school level graphic design skills, but write between 600 and 1001 quality posts a year since 2007, I think I'll be okay. Not that my writing skills are better, or to compare artistic skill (though admittedly, as an artist it's difficult to not critique), but rather, I can write imperfect posts on my imperfect layouts about my imperfect thoughts and people will still read what I write. If they don't get it, they don't get it, but there is an audience for what I write.

So, here I am, not thinking too hard about this blogging thing, sharing my favorite stills to study the landscapes and color grading of My Neighbor Totoro, because that's what's been occupying my brain lately. These will end up in my imperfect sketchbook, and will be imperfectly reproduced for me to imperfectly hang in my apartment, next to my other imperfect artwork for my imperfect enjoyment.

*how many times can I say imperfect in one sentence?*

I will say though, these stills are anything but imperfect. I can't get enough of them.